Fetal Movement & Emotions

Well this past week, especially the past few nights...have been baby dancing time!

I dont get heartburn, I dont eat spicy foods, I drink lots of milk, keep to one or two cups of coffee a week...and yet this baby is a gymnast already! I dont know where the energy comes from. But it feels fantastic!

Last night I could not sleep. Went to bed early but then woke up tossing and turning and wondering why the heck cant I sleep? Thinking its like 3am, I look at the clock and its only 11pm! I only slept a couple hours! So I got up and couldnt sleep all night til around 4am. Between 1:30am-3:30am...baby was moving so incredibly strong I was almost short of breath and wanted to giggle like I had butterflies in my stomach.

Its a true miracle. A beautiful thing to feel. I could lay awake all night just smiling and feel this little human being really alive and growing inside me, my body creating this person who I will come to know and love and teach and learn with.

Everyday im feeling better.

 

I have to be honest, pregnancy can be a scarey ride. A confusing ride, that some of us dont admit. A time when we should be filled with glory, but are sometimes filled with terror and regret instead. Like this shouldnt be happening right now, and that it might not work out. I had some days of experiancing this as a crazy ride. Or if I was already stressed out over other issues, or was in a fight, having a hormonal emotional day I would end up finding solitutde sitting in the shower with my head between my knees. When there are already transitions in life aside from pregnancy, and life is unexpected...you lose sight of what you could be appreciating and what there is to be happy about.

I had some bad days. Ill be honest and open about it.

But now, its a whole new chapter. Now I daydream of what the future will bring. Now I embrace what I am going through. If I ever lost it, there would be a hole inside my soul with no heart to call home.

For now I will wait and embrace every little kick you give me.

You are my bright side every day...